The helping hands ... an experience in Indian train.

The guy standing next to me was smelling of alcohol and the toilet beside me smelled as if it was never cleaned. I had to bear it as there wasn't enough space to even move my head. The compartment was full of people. I wondered, from outside it would look like a cattle van . On my left side , 6 women sat on the seat of 4 , one carrying a bag of woods and other with a little girl yawning on her lap. The upper seat (reserved for luggage) was full of half naked dark men, who seem to be returning from a long day of hard work. There were lights inside the compartment but fans weren't working . Some people standing near the window were asked to give little space for air.I was standing near a door with a bunch of young guys who all seemed to be laborers in the near by mining quarry.All of them were drunk and enjoying the bantering about what happened at work. One of them had a bottle of water, the only one that I noticed in the whole compartment.It was a general boggy in Indian railway.The boggy of the poor people.

It was just a two hour journey and it did not make much sense to get a reservation. I thought , I would  most likely have to stand , bear the toilet smell and keep listening my ipod and the 2 hours will  just pass.I somehow managed to get into the train with the push from people trying to get into the same boggy. I also managed to find a place to stay near the toilet . Seeing couple of guys hanging on the door, I felt at-least lucky to trade the risk of falling down with the smell of toilet! Train finally started and everything slowly set in place, the initial push , people trying to move , eventually  was in some kind of equilibrium. People around me looked happy but there was a lack of hope in their eyes. Seeing an old sick man standing and coughing all the time, a young boy picking fights with others for a fifty paise toffee made me pity them. People smelling of alcohol, hair so clotted with dirt that it seemed they haven't taken bath for days. I started feeling , if this is the way a human should live? They seemed to have gotten used to their lives and were OK with what they had for their lives. They all argued /fought for a seat on the bench , a place to stand near window and seemed not to have any concern for whats happening around them. It all started feeling as if they were just some part of the this train, nut bolts of the machinery , which even though had thinking cells, decided to ignore them comfortably. It was hard to imagine that they would enjoy  the coolness of fresh air coming in , the fast moving green fields , or the symmetry in the flock of birds returning to their home. I wondered when people have problems like hunger , place to sleep, would they worry about anyone else?

Standing for 2 hours was  not something I was  used to. I had missed lunch that day so after a while I started feeling dizzy and wanted to sit , I asked a guy who seemed to have taken enough space for 2 people, I asked politely but  he not only refused but even pushed me away. I was taken back ,but not really surprised. At that moment , I just wanted to get out of the train not because i couldn't bear the toilet smell ,not because i was hurt  ,but everyone there seemed  comfortable with the whole setup and made me feel disgusted. I started feeling dizzy at that moment and was really scared that I might fall out of train. In few minutes I thought I had blacked out and almost fell , but not before one of those clotted hair young guys got hold of me. For a minute I don't remember what happened. but when my senses came back, I was sitting on a seat ,with an old guy calming me down , one of those guys sprinkling some water on my face and trying to make me feel comfortable. All 6 women and the men on the upper seat got down made enough seat for me so that I could even lay down if I wish too. Looking at their eyes I could see they were really concerned and everyone was trying to do something to help me.I felt grateful for their help and at the same time guilt. My stop was coming in 10  mins. They helped me to the door and gave me the same bottle of water and said good byes when train stopped.  I was proven wrong about them , but that actually made me happy.

PS: an image showing the general compartment in Indian railway.[ courtesy: http://community.photojournale.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/3.jpg]

2012

I have been thinking about some of things which I would like to do in 2012. Its not really a resolution but just a to-do list for me. Following is something I came up with (pretty quick to my surprise):

• A long drive : I would like to go for a long drive around 1000 miles at least. I went to glacier national park this year with friends and I really enjoyed it. I think for this year we can target Yellow Stone or somewhere in California. The best part is the drive itself , stopping at random places to sleep and eat. We could do it over a long weekend with one day off. Best time would be May long weekend?
• A trip to New York: I think it's high time to make a trip to New York. I have been hearing so much about NY and really wish to see the place. Though I feel the best way to get a feeling of a city is to actually live there , but I think a 3-4 days visit would probably do.
• A working year: I think I was not really up to my 100 % efficiency last year. This year I would like to do more creative work then just lazing around. It could be office work , or some other hobbies( we will come to that later) or just a better time management.
• Writing: I think I have to find out how good I can write. ( I probably have the expectation set , but would like to see if it can be improved). There are 3 types of writing I would like to try and then concentrate on one of them: a)Blogging b)story plot  and c)script . So you should hope to see more blog posts from me :) . I also have to make sure that "A hard working year" doesn't conflict with Writing. I usually can't focus on 2 things.
• Finding myself: I have a difficulty in knowing what I really want and I think this is purely driven by social factors. I have been meaning to be more clear with what I want ranging from smaller stuff to bigger events. I have to re-discover myself. Lets see how it goes.
• Arranging house: spending some time in making the living place a little better and mostly renovating it to resonate with us.

few more to-dos would be to make a europe trip , skiing practices etc.

This list contains common stuffs that a person usually does in life. My goal is to make sure doing it better and in a complete way. When you work on something it should move forward , One should be able to measure if he is actually doing what he had planned. I have never been good with lists, assuming that I can always refer my memory, no need of a list. But the problem is, you never do that. Whereas when you see the list ,it reminds you what you wanted at some point of time and its OK to think that you may not want the same,but it makes you think. One ingredient for a satisfying life is to know that you did or tried what you wished for.

One more thing you might observe the change in the theme of my blogs. I usually don't like to write about myself , I like to be the observer where the subject is something else. But as you can see I have hardly written many blogs. I would move to make myself as subject , not that I feel like a celebrity,but purely due to  the idea of writing-more-makes-you-write-more.My blogs can still contain information that might be useful , but the chances that they will try to influence your thinking might be reduced.

and a sincere thank you for reading it till here and happy new year! :)