180 , 179, 178... the red light signal at the dilkush circle was flashing the number. Sitting in my car , I was really frustrated about missing the green signal by a few seconds . I could have easily made it, had it not been the auto rikshaw that almost blocked the road for 10 min near the last signal.
Waiting for the signals is always frustrating even though those 3 mins in this heavy traffic isn't really a lot of time. During those few seconds, you actually realize that you are getting late. It wasn't really the 3 min wait, which I know I have to wait for the greater good of traffic smoothness, what really scares me at dilkush circle are the bunch of beggars: the old lady in torn clothes, the young girl with an infant tied on her back, a bunch of young kids and the handicap with a twisted gait. They start knocking at the windows with a sad face that can make anyone cry if you are not used to seeing them everyday. It puts me in a dilemma whether I should slide my window and give them some change or should I just keep looking straight ahead, ignoring them.
Same thing was going to happen today. The moment the red signal counter reached down to 170 , a young girl with an infant emerged from no where and was knocking on the window of the first car. My car was 5th or 6th in the row at the junction. With some calculation , I was pretty certain she will have enough time to pass by my car and I will have to think through my dilemma.
I knew almost for certain that these young girls are either victims of the begging mafia or too lazy to do any work. I knew giving them money would only bolster the whole illegal , immoral begging industries (if we can call them so). Though I had made up my mind about not giving the money , but somewhere the thought that what if this girl really needed the money? was there somewhere and causing me little discomfort about my decision.
She was moving towards my car with very little success. I was looking at her to analyse if she is a liar or indeed in need. It was impossible to tell the difference. I remember seeing her yesterday too.The infant on her back seemed sleeping peacefully ignorant of all the heat, pollution and the drama going around. I was certain she is just a setup otherwise which mother will carry her kid in the hot sun/pollution. The red light was still going to be on for next 20 seconds. She had reached to the car next to me. The guy sitting in the car next to me actually slide down the window but only to curse her. She didn't even say anything other than just standing near his window. How could he scold her? I felt bad and decided to change my mind. I forgot all of my reasoning and felt good about deciding to give her money, by the time i turned my face around , i see her standing near my window, looking at me with the same old face i was used to seeing. But this time I felt a bit happy ,thinking may be I will bring a smile on her face. I quickly turned towards the side pockets in the car to find my wallet and then the moment of realization came. I realized i left my wallet at home today. My wife had just called me sometime back to tell me that. I looked around but couldn't find any change. I turned towards her with a feeling of embarrassment, but by the time I could say something to her , explaining my situation she had moved ahead to the red maruti behind mine . While the driver in red car was thinking what to do , the traffic signal turned into green and I had to press the gas pedal.
Waiting for the signals is always frustrating even though those 3 mins in this heavy traffic isn't really a lot of time. During those few seconds, you actually realize that you are getting late. It wasn't really the 3 min wait, which I know I have to wait for the greater good of traffic smoothness, what really scares me at dilkush circle are the bunch of beggars: the old lady in torn clothes, the young girl with an infant tied on her back, a bunch of young kids and the handicap with a twisted gait. They start knocking at the windows with a sad face that can make anyone cry if you are not used to seeing them everyday. It puts me in a dilemma whether I should slide my window and give them some change or should I just keep looking straight ahead, ignoring them.
Same thing was going to happen today. The moment the red signal counter reached down to 170 , a young girl with an infant emerged from no where and was knocking on the window of the first car. My car was 5th or 6th in the row at the junction. With some calculation , I was pretty certain she will have enough time to pass by my car and I will have to think through my dilemma.
She was moving towards my car with very little success. I was looking at her to analyse if she is a liar or indeed in need. It was impossible to tell the difference. I remember seeing her yesterday too.The infant on her back seemed sleeping peacefully ignorant of all the heat, pollution and the drama going around. I was certain she is just a setup otherwise which mother will carry her kid in the hot sun/pollution. The red light was still going to be on for next 20 seconds. She had reached to the car next to me. The guy sitting in the car next to me actually slide down the window but only to curse her. She didn't even say anything other than just standing near his window. How could he scold her? I felt bad and decided to change my mind. I forgot all of my reasoning and felt good about deciding to give her money, by the time i turned my face around , i see her standing near my window, looking at me with the same old face i was used to seeing. But this time I felt a bit happy ,thinking may be I will bring a smile on her face. I quickly turned towards the side pockets in the car to find my wallet and then the moment of realization came. I realized i left my wallet at home today. My wife had just called me sometime back to tell me that. I looked around but couldn't find any change. I turned towards her with a feeling of embarrassment, but by the time I could say something to her , explaining my situation she had moved ahead to the red maruti behind mine . While the driver in red car was thinking what to do , the traffic signal turned into green and I had to press the gas pedal.
